Of Doubt and Darkness
by YuvalMonster
Summary: Why did Emma sacrifice her own life for Regina's sake? Regina refuses to talk about the events of that night. It doesn't mean Emma isn't trying to explain herself. An alternative storyline in Camelot.


_**A/N**_ _: This piece is dedicated to my lovely Sex Muffin, the Mighty Hedgehog, the murderously cute Tiffany. I loved being your SQ Secret Santa; I hope you'll like this fic just as much as I enjoyed writing it._

* * *

Just as she reaches for the doorknob, the other woman goes after her and exclaims, "You keep doing that! Why do you do it all the time?"

Regina fails to understand what the blonde means. She can't even begin to try and figure out what she means. It always requires thinking when it comes to Emma Swan's words. "I don't understand what you mean, Swan. I'm not _doing_ anything."

"Yes, you do. You keep walking away. Every time I bring up that subject… every time I even let out a word about what I did… you just ignore me. What is it about _this thing_ that you just refuse to talk about?"

"I do no such thing." Regina turns around and faces Emma, as she finally opens the door with another hand. "I have better things to do than to hear about what a big sacrifice was it to save me from The Darkness. I acknowledge that, and I thank you. I don't think however that you need to make such a big deal out of it."

"I… wasn't. Regina, please;" Emma reaches out a hand, lightly brushes Regina's arm with her fingers, and both of them suddenly appear to be aware of their every move. "I wasn't trying to make it a big deal. I wasn't. I just… I want to talk to you. Will you let me?"

"Fine. Are you even capable of basic listening comprehensions?" She takes a step back, "I told you I have other things to do. Maybe later I'd find the time." And just like a thunderstorm, Regina Mills leaves Emma alone in the diner, confused, and she has no idea what has gotten into the other woman.

Regina Mills keeps getting touchy when she brings up that subject. They've been in Camelot for a couple of weeks now, and Emma just wants to let Regina know how she feels. Regina asked her once about that sacrifice.

Regina's asked Emma, "Why did you do it for me?" But a fraction of a moment later, she seemed to regret asking, didn't wait for Emma's answer and just said, "Anyway, _thanks_ , _Emma_. Now _I_ have to find a way _to save you_."

And then she just walked away. She always just walks away. 

* * *

Emma then decided no more.

She went after Regina, didn't let her go that far away from the diner before she insisted, "No, you're not going anywhere Regina."

"Excuse me?" The brunette sneers. She turns around and raises an eyebrow at her, combined with one lip curled up, just to show how much she dislikes the idea of Emma Swan dictating her what to do.

"I want an explanation. Why is it that you keep leaving the room each time I even mention what happened that night? Why do you think of it as if it's such a big deal? _So… I sacrificed myself for you, oh no! What a big deal!_ " Emma says, exaggerating with her hand movements on purpose.

"Of course, I'd do that for you, Regina." The blonde comes closer to her, looks at the other woman with a certain look that seems soft yet firm at the same time. "I didn't even think about it, I just did it. I couldn't let you become the Dark One. You've already been this _Great and Terrible Evil Queen_ once; I wasn't gonna let you go down that road again."

"You didn't _have_ to do it." The ex-Evil Queen remarks, in a somewhat understanding manner, as if she's finally open to this discussion. She even lets herself take a step in Emma's direction.

"Of course I had to do it, Regina. You have already found your happy ending… after everything you've been through... I couldn't just let you get into all of this. Do you know what a nightmare is it?"

" _Exactly_ , _Emma_!" She seems angry all over again. "It is a nightmare. And you just _had_ to sacrifice yourself for me… _the hero you are_. Everything's a sacrifice with you heroes." Regina dismisses her decision like that. Again. What the hell is wrong with that woman?

"You turned around to tell your lovely pirate that you love him. But then, you _sacrificed yourself for me_. Why did you really do it? Isn't _this man_ your own happy ending? Why giving up on him for me? I really don't get it, Swan, why on earth, or on any realm, would you do that for me?"

"I…" Emma hesitates, "I-"

"You what?" The other woman cuts her mid-sentence, irritated at best.

"I don't know, Regina. I wasn't really thinking that much. I just knew that moment that I had to do it. It was either you or me… and I chose you."

"You chose me?" She raises another eyebrow again, but this time, it seems less of an attack, and more like Regina is trying to get Emma to explain her words better. Because everything requires thinking when it comes to Emma Swan's words, and she's done thinking for the day.

"I… yes. I couldn't let you be affected by The Darkness. It had to be me. You…"

"Do you perceive me as a weak person, Miss Swan?"

"No. Regina; that's not what I'm saying…"

"What is it exactly that you're trying to say then, Swan, I am trying to understand, but you make it really hard for me to-"

 _"What I'm saying is that I had to be the one to do it! I chose you because I couldn't let you lose your happiness, Regina! I want you to be happy, why is it so hard to understand?!"_

Both women are more than a little startled by that. Emma never intended to let it out that way, but Regina kept pushing, and pushing… And Regina… Nobody ever did something like that for her. She is simply not capable of understanding that. Why would anyone really want her to be happy? There's got to be an ulterior motive.

Regina looks down at her own feet. It is hard to understand. At least for her. No one ever sacrifices themselves for her own sake. Something must be wrong with Emma Swan, a woman whose only connection to her is through their son.

Why would she really do it for her?

Emma's voice cuts through Regina's thoughts, "What is it, Regina? What? I am actually waiting for an answer. An honest one if you're even feeling like it. I don't understand that... But I'd like to. If you let me. I want to understand the way you're thinking better."

"Emma I…" She crosses her arms against her chest and looks up, still unable to make eye contact with the green eyes that are hunting her down.

She lets her hands down, her eyes drift back down and she plays with her ring instead of completing her idea. It makes Emma take a single step towards her again, she seems to want to reach her hand and let the other woman know she's right there for her, but she also hesitates, as if something tells her not to.

"Regina…" She finally says. Her voice is soft, understanding… as if she had an epiphany and she suddenly realizes what it's like to believe no one will ever care for you that way.

What way?

Suddenly, as she hears her own name, Regina stills in her place, puts on a figurative mask on her face and shifts her expression to a stiff look.

She takes a step back and her hands seem to take the offensive, as if she wants to push Emma further away. Though she can't really touch her from where she's standing.

"I don't have time for this, I have to go. I have other things to do."

And this time, she disappears with a puff of purple smoke. Teleportation can be a bitch sometimes. 

* * *

Emma's frustrated. She can't follow Regina. As much as she wants answers from her, she has to respect her decisions. It's not like it's the first time that Regina ignores her questions or puffs away from their conversation.

And… well… she also can't use her dark magic. _Of course._

But what else can she do? Is she supposed to wait until the next time she encounters Regina and make her talk about this again? She obviously doesn't want to, but why? _What is it_ that makes Regina so upset whenever Emma opens that box?

Suddenly, Charming's voice cuts through Emma's thoughts.

"She puffed herself away, _again_?"

Emma turns around to find her parents together with looks that aren't worried for a change. It's like they know something she doesn't. Snow holds baby Neal with his little white beanie.

Emma nods. "She does that all the time doesn't she?" Snow asks with a soft voice. "Every time someone brings up the events of that night, she has to leave the room."

"How did you know we were talking about that?"

"Oh Emma, it's not like there are so many possibilities. We saw Regina poofing away so we figured," Snow says in a somewhat smug tone. "She is very touchy this one," Charming adds, completing Snow's thoughts.

Emma narrows her brows, "Huh."

After receiving a couple of smiles from her parents at this note, she asks them finally, "So… do you have any ideas; why does that happen?"

Her parents seem confused, "What happens?"

"Oh, do you mean her, poofing away?" Snow takes the lead with one step closer to Emma's direction. "Regina is not very good at talking about her feelings. I'll tell you that. It took me years to realize that. Sometimes, you have to observe the way she says things, rather than really the words that come out of her mouth."

She looks back down at Neal and a smile spreads across her face. Then she looks back up at Emma with her beam, "You know, I think you should just give her some time. Or maybe… if you have something to tell her that will make her feel safe enough to let you know how she feels… That would be helpful."

"But why is it so hard to just _tell me_? What can she _possibly feel_ that requires me letting her know that _it's safe_?"

"I don't know," Snow chuckles so shamelessly, "maybe it's up to you to figure it out."

"If that's really so important to you, _of course_ ," Charming suggests, as smug as his wife.

"What is it with you two that always give me such a sneaky vibe?" Emma says, full of wit, and giggles with them.

"May we ask you something, though?"

"Yeah, sure, what is it?" Emma asks casually.

Snow looks at her husband, then faces Emma again, "Why _did_ you sacrifice yourself for Regina?"

"Don't get us wrong," Charming almost cuts Snow's words, "perhaps it really was the right thing to do… but why to put yourself in line for her?"

Emma doesn't answer for a couple of minutes. She just stands there in front of them with her lips slightly parted; she blinks rapidly and adjusts her cream-colored cape.

Then she begins, "I… guess I didn't really think, you know?" And when they clearly _don't_ know, she explains, "I guess... maybe I did it for Henry. We couldn't lose Regina. She's his mother, he needs her."

"Oh," they say together.

"What?"

" _We_ _couldn't lose Regina_." Her father repeats.

"What?" She asks again.

"You said _we_." One could hear her father's smirk even without being able to look at him.

"Well, yes, we… meaning all of us. She's a part of the family now isn't she?"

Snow settles, "Sure."

What is it that they know, but Emma doesn't?

"I mean, it's not like it's really a loss, you know. You still got me. I just, I didn't think it was a good idea for Regina to lose her happy ending. You know what I mean? She's already lost too much. She works really hard to just be a little happy."

"Yes, that's right. She does work hard for that. Happiness isn't something that you just get out of nowhere, most of the time you have to work pretty hard to get it," Snow confirms. "And Regina's worked very hard to regain Henry's trust, and ours. But what about your happiness?"

After weighing her next words, Emma finally lets out and reassures her parents, "I have faith in you guys. I've already seen the things you can make happen. You taught me to have hope, and I believe in you. You're my family, despite and thanks to everything that's happened."

"No, no. I'm not talking about that, Emma," her mother begins anew. "I'm asking you… about your happiness. Don't you want to be with Hook? Why sacrifice yourself for Regina's happy ending, what about yours? You've worked pretty hard for that too."

"I just told you, I'm here, you still got me. That applies to everyone. I'm the same me I was a few weeks ago. I'm not letting The Darkness affect me. I am still the same person you all know and love. Once we get rid of that Darkness, I'm freed and we all go home. I suggest we go back to work on our plan."

Snow and Charming give her an unsatisfied look. It's like; _you've failed the test_ , kind of unsatisfied. But what was it about her words that wasn't good enough? She still wants to fight; she knows she did the right thing.

They need a plan now. _But what was is that they were expecting to hear though?_

* * *

They leave Emma for herself. Making dreamcatchers is what she does these days. She can sit for hours, and she makes them. She doesn't need to sleep. She really wants to, but there's no need. She won't be able to sleep even if she tried really hard.

They say dreamcatchers make you see things more clearly. Emma has used them in the past, when she first tried her magic… it was much less dark then. But she still remembers everything about them. She weaves the threads one by one.

The sight of these dreamcatchers makes her recall better times. When things were way simpler. When she had Neal. He was this young love of hers. He also left her alone when she needed him most…

He messed up her life, but he also gave her the perfect gift. Besides their good times together, she had Henry thanks to him. Even after discovering he was Rumplestiltskin's son, even after discovering his lies… he still seems like this good thing that she had once.

Nothing can spoil the feelings she had when she was with him; it was a different kind of love. It felt real, and raw, and despite being young, she knew she loved him.

It makes her wonder if things today can ever be that simple. She has this guy that she really likes, she has her family now. She's really evolved.

But now she's also The Dark One. She can feel The Darkness inside of her; every single moment of her being is fighting for the mere option of being there, only herself as Emma Swan. Not The Dark Swan. She just wants to be Emma.

Everyone keeps calling her names. For once in her life... will she ever be just Emma?

She fights voices in her head that tell her otherwise. Just sitting there on that piece of ground is hard enough these days. Nothing can be simple when you have Darkness inside. Too much of it, at least.

But maybe there are other things on her mind as well. Why dreamcatchers? Why thinking of Neal right now? Why does that of all things seem like the brightest era of her life? 

* * *

The next morning Emma finds Regina talking to Hood. How can she act as if nothing happened? As if things are just as they were yesterday?

Regina seems to do pretty well. Like nothing's on her mind. Like their last conversation didn't even happen. Emma is so ready to explode at the mere idea of Regina not feeling differently at all after their conversation… but why would she really?

It makes no sense.

Emma suddenly recalls her mother's words. Snow knows Regina longer than most. _"You have to observe the way she says things, rather than really the words that come out of her mouth."_ Maybe it applies to the way she acts as well.

Emma tries to study Regina's movements. Her body language seems distant. As if she wants to be somewhere else. She's uncomfortable. But then she sees her.

Then Regina sees Emma, and suddenly her body stiffens. Suddenly Regina swallows very evidently. Emma can sense Regina's gaze all over her body. Her own skin all of a sudden feels weird, in a way she can't explain.

As if Regina is now investigating Emma's body. Emma can tell Regina holds her breath, and that makes her release air she wasn't even aware she herself was holding in.

Regina's eyes are darting in Emma's direction.

Something makes the both of them shut up when their eyes finally meet. At least now Emma knows that Regina does feel _something_.

Though she still doesn't really know what to do… Snow's words are leading her. Hood leaves Regina alone, and Emma makes her first move towards Regina. She doesn't say a thing at first, but then, with her mother's guidance, she wants to make Regina feel safe enough to let her know what she feels.

"Uh…" She then begins, "So, Regina; I was just thinking about our last conversation," the brunette listens carefully with clenched brows, "I don't really know what happened there. I guess I'm not gonna make you listen to me or talk to me if you don't want to," Regina lets her brows rest.

"But if you want to let me know how you feel… what's going on. If you want to listen to me…" Emma hesitates and changes the direction of her thoughts. "I guess what I'm saying is that I'm willing to wait until you decide you want to talk to me. No big deal."

Regina's expression is unreadable. Emma just doesn't understand what that confused look means. She really just wishes she would've had the means to study psychology when she was younger. When things were a little bit simpler than they are now.

"So… that's all… I guess."

Just as Emma intends to leave the place and turns around, she can feel the lightest touch on her arm. It's Regina's finger brushing her cape, and a soft, almost silent, "Wait," that comes out of her friend's mouth.

"Emma, don't." She stops for a second. "Don't… leave."

Then Emma turns with half her body at first, as if she almost cannot believe Regina really called out her name and wants her to stay. Then she faces Regina completely, with a small grin that spreads on her cheeks so very slowly. And she blinks again.

Regina catches Emma's little smile and it seems like only being there and talking to Emma is a struggle to her at this point. Something is going on with Regina. Maybe now she will finally be able to open up and share?

"Listen," it's like the mere existence of Emma Swan in front of her is something that makes Regina doubt herself. "I really appreciate what you've done for me. I'm… sorry. I have to admit it's not easy for me…"

Emma gives her time to process her thoughts; she doesn't push her this time around. "To… show gratitude. Or, letting people know how I feel. It's not easy for me to let my walls down. It never occurred to me that you helped me because you just… wanted to."

"Of course I wanted to, Regi-"

But then Regina cuts her mid-sentence, "I never thought you really cared." She raises her chin and locks her eyes with Emma's, "I didn't know you cared about me. I never thought anyone would. No one usually does. But like you said, you saved me. Now I need to save you, Emma;" another pause, but now she looks back at their feet, "So… just let me do that one thing for you, okay? Will you leave me to it?"

"Regina…" Emma suddenly notices how Regina's hair seems different in Camelot. It is pulled aside and that makes Regina's neck more visible, suddenly her collar bone is something no one can miss, especially not Emma Swan at that moment. She investigates Regina's upper body in a new way, which has never caught her attention before. Not like that.

Regina's vulnerability is something that makes Emma startled. Not in a bad way, but in a kind of an understanding one, a kind that appreciates the mere act of letting her guards down for her. Emma recognizes Regina's pain and for some reason it makes her more interested. She wants to be there for her. She looks at Regina and sees something different, not just on the outside.

But all of a sudden she recalls where she is at, the scent of leaves and dirt is caught in her breath; she blinks again as if that's what's pulling her back into reality, and she tries to complete her idea. She fails at the first attempt.

But Emma is not a woman that gives up easily, "Regina, I… don't think you should be doing this alone. Do you think I want to be The Dark One forever? There has to be a way for us to break that curse. I need to get these out of my head."

" _These_?"

"Huh?"

"Emma," the brunette comes closer, and with a softer voice she asks again, "you said ' _these_ '. What does that mean?"

"Um… I'm… I've been seeing them in my head for some time now." Emma pauses for a moment because she knows what she's about to say might sound crazy enough to anyone else who isn't her. But she trusts Regina with her life, quite literally. "The past Dark One. I have The Darkness inside of me. Rumplestiltskin, he keeps talking to me inside my head. He keeps telling me to push people away."

"Emma…"

"The thing is… I have to admit; when I'm around you, he seems to be pretty calm. I mean, he's always there, he never goes away. But when I'm with Killian, or… I don't know. When I'm near him The Darkness wants me to stay closer. When I'm here with you, it's like… it's not trying to push me. Kinda like it knows that there's no chance you'd let me do anything stupid. Ugh, I don't know," she cuts the eye connection between the two of them, "maybe I need to stop over-thinking this."

Regina seems offended by the sudden disconnection. Or maybe it's something Emma said?

"Emma, listen to me," suddenly her agony shifts to determination and Regina lightens up with the fire inside of her. She then grabs Emma's arm quite firmly, and continues, "No matter what The Darkness tells you, it can never be good. You do not want to go down that road. You have to find yourself inside. You, Emma, that woman I know…"

Regina's grasp thickens and it almost starts to feel like a thrust, "Henry's mother; she would never let The Darkness eat her inside out. You can never give up, do you hear me? Emma?" She searches the blonde's eyes and meets them with a fierce glare. "You must try to control your Darkness. I'm here to help you… we're… all here. For you. You can never give up, not until we find a way to help you, okay?"

Regina's hands are warm, like a fire quite literally is about to burst through her fingers. But it never happens. Emma can feel Regina's fingers through the fabrics. It draws her attention. Rumple gets out of his lair, he examines the two women's physical connection, but for once, he says nothing.

Regina's touch may feel like a threat at first, but as The Darkness shows, something inside of Emma knows it won't burn her. Regina's got a fire and it melts down the darkest pieces of Emma's soul. Not in a bad way, but in a way that makes her feel safe.

Oh, she does that again. She can't keep doing that. She cannot fall back into her daydreams every single time she gets closer to Regina Mills. It doesn't work that way.

"Okay." She simply says. And adds another blink to the equation. And… this time, when she opens her eyes Rumplestiltskin stands way too close.

Regina lets go of her touch and then he shouts in her ears. It happens all too fast.

 _"You can't do this! You can't let her take the power away from you! You cannot give yourself to her! You cannot give up yourself just because there's a woman you love who doesn't accept the real you! You can never give up the power!"_

He screams so loud, she crumbles down, she collapses down to the ground. Regina is trying to hold onto her, but Emma is really the only one that hears his words. And thank God for that.

The Darkness feels more like madness inside Emma's head. These voices will never leave her. She has to fight them.

She covers her ears in an attempt to get rid of the voices in her head. Here, she was just talking about how Rumplestiltskin is quiet near Regina, but then it was probably just the calm before the storm.

His voice is barging in. She shouts back, "No! Stop! I'm not giving up on anything!"

Her ears covered, she can still feel Regina's hands on her arms. She fixes herself on the ground, trying to get a good grip down to earth. Regina is trying to help her, but she doesn't really understand. No one else seems to be there beside her. No one else can hear the madness inside her head.

Emma can tell Regina is saying something. She feels Regina's breaths over her skin, they're cooler than before, and she seems to be on her edge. Emma is losing her mind, and everything Regina does is to help her. But she can't really. It's up to Emma to help herself.

What does The Darkness want?

 _"Push her aside, take what's yours. You deserve to control your life. Don't let her tell you what to do or who you really are! Don't let her make you weak!"  
_  
"But she _never_ does!" Emma rises up all of a sudden. She pushes Regina off of her, leaving her a little bruised on the ground, mostly shocked. But it's the least of Emma's worries at the moment.

 _"She never makes me feel weak! She never does that! Don't you understand? She is the only person that sees me. The real me, the whole, complete Emma! Not a Savior, not a Dark One, not anything else I never signed up to be. She's never ever looked at me the way other people do. She always sees me as Emma. She never makes me feel like I don't matter! I am not weak; I will never be weak, not if she holds me close to her! Not if I let her save me! I love that woman,"_ her voice cracks but she keeps shouting anyway, _"and she keeps me safer from you."_

Emma forgets everything at that moment. She pushes The Darkness out. It's not just a whim, it _is_ her power. Her power isn't all darkness. It isn't also only lightness. It's somewhere in between. For the first time, it terrifies her in a good way. She knows what she means.

But that realization puts her at a pause. Regina is also there to hear. She really wishes that only The Darkness could hear her now. But… Regina probably can too.

Rumplestiltskin disappears when Regina enters her thoughts this time around. Something tells Emma inside that it will stay that way for some time now.

The Darkness has always felt threatened by Regina, she realizes this now. The Darkness always pushes Regina aside, never literally, but in her mind. But Emma won't let that happen anymore. Emma Swan needs Regina by her side.

Even The Darkness knows.

Perhaps better than Emma knew herself, because… it said it out loud. " _A woman you love_ ," it said. _Love._

* * *

Like a certain something in Emma's guts alters when she turns around to face Regina.

The brunette's expression cannot be clearer to her now. The desperation in Regina Mills' eyes is crying for help. She isn't afraid of Emma, she worries about her. Regina wants to help Emma. That's what her face tells Emma now. It's care. A mutual care.

Their eyes meet. Emma suddenly smiles at Regina. She helps her up on her own feet.

The blonde's smile is spreading quickly. Then their palms meet and it feels damn good to grasp Regina's hand. Emma envelops her fingers around Regina's in a way that's half firm half soft, and feels strong altogether.

When she helps her up they are getting closer to each other, almost like a hug. But it's just a weird kind of an embrace.

Regina doesn't understand what's going on; the only thing she knows now is that the wrinkles around Emma's eyes are contagious. She opens her mouth and smiles the most beautiful, bright, real smile she's had in a long time.

Her hair has leaves in it; her red cape is covered up with dirt. Her back is a little sour thanks to Emma's earlier push, but now it feels better. It doesn't matter because Emma's smile at the moment could fix any illness, dark and dangerous as it may be.

Tears are flowing down on Emma's face, they are warm and joyful.

Regina still needs an explanation, she's worried, but she knows Emma; that smile is genuine.

This is Emma Swan in all her glory. She's the kind of person to freak out and push everyone she cares about aside. But then she comes back.

She comes back and she helps you up and she makes your day brighter just by looking at her and she makes you realize just how you yourself care for her. How you yourself want to see her smile every day until your last day on earth.

She is the kind of person that makes you breathe unevenly. She takes your breath away because just she herself makes you feel like you matter, like you count. She makes you love her without even trying.

She is the kind of woman that when you touch her hand and lean on her arm for support she'd hold you for as long as you want, even when you're all set up on your feet, she'll keep holding you and won't let go because she feels you and she just _knows_ you don't want to let go just yet.

That's Emma Swan in all her glory. She's no Dark One. She has a lot of Darkness inside of her, but who doesn't?

She is still Emma Swan. Regina's Emma.

But suddenly Regina realizes she let herself drift away into the world of daydreams. That is not something she does. Well… but she tends to do it around Emma.

Regina was never the one to understand hints and signs. She's not that girl that realizes when a boy has a crush on her. Even with Daniel, it took her quite some time to understand he was interested.

If they aren't blunt enough, they don't stand a chance. That's why she is always waiting for Emma to make a move. She doesn't want to get hurt. She never believes a person can love her.

Even when Robin Hood told her he wants to be with her… it felt unreal. She never believed.

Then, he went away, he chose someone else over her, and Regina was anything but surprised. She is forever the one to underestimate her own value. She was never good enough for anyone.

And now she gets to be with him but he chooses to make it very clear that he cares about her sister's baby more than her cares for her. Regina does not deserve that.

Regina deserves better. And… if she heard correctly, Emma Swan just shouted something about love while pointing at her direction. And now she's holding her so close to her that she can literally hear her heart beating.

She can feel Emma's warm breaths against her skin, and her wrinkles are right in front of her eyes.

They just stand there, their arms tucked together, supporting each other in a weird, cute kind of embrace. Alone in the forest. They smile together.

This whole scene is so genuine. They truly care for each other, for a while now it's been about more than just Henry, more than just their family. They truly care for each other just because of who they are for one another.

"Emma…"

Regina truly has no words to describe what she feels. There's still that voice in her head that tells her that maybe… perhaps Emma wasn't really talking about her. Emma never told her anything about love, never said anything specific about caring.

Why would she wait this long to say anything? Why would she even care for Regina?

Maybe… that thing she just said isn't about her. Maybe she wasn't supposed to hear it.

Emma understands Regina is not going to complete that sentence, so she asks instead, "Regina, did you…" but she pauses. She takes a deep breath. Her eyebrows are clenched a bit and the wrinkles around her eyes fade a little. "Did you hear me? When I was-"

"Yes."

"And? I…"

"It's okay, Emma." Regina's smile fades completely. "You don't have to explain," she says, suddenly seems crestfallen in the face of Emma's words.

"No, Regina, you don't understand!"

"You're right, I don't. Not really understand." She says as she grows away from Emma's arms. It seems like an accusation. Not like Regina is really confused, she sounds like she knows better, but like something tells her she's not right.

Emma wants to fix that. She wants to make Regina more confident. She knows what it is like to have these feelings inside, she knows these thoughts can get the best of you, but she also knows that sometimes you just have to push them aside, to let them go, and don't look back.

She just did, and she wants Regina to realize that.

"Regina, I… what I just said. It was, really about… _you_ , you know? I do feel that way about you. I was too afraid to tell you that, I was too afraid to even tell myself, but I always knew that deep inside, I think for a very long time. I want you to tell me what you feel."

"I-"

"You don't have to run away, Regina. I'm ready to listen to you; I don't want to push you away. If you want to tell me otherwise that is okay as well."

Regina doesn't answer for a while, her expression is colder than before, but she doesn't seem sad anymore.

Emma decides to explain further, because she knows how much Regina is confused around her all the time. "I keep seeing the Darkness in my head, Regina. I always used to think that it was a bad sign, that it approves of my bad choices… and now I understand that must be true, because… when I started to get closer to you, he was screaming inside of me. Wasn't just there, he was _screaming_."

She pauses and examines Regina's eyes, "He was screaming, he wanted me to push you away, he wanted me to hurt you. And I think… I _know_ , that is was because you make me lighter. You make me better. Maybe… it's that you make me want to be better. The Darkness sees that as a bad choice, but I know better. I am a better person, thanks to you. That's the thing I love about you most. I just... feel free when I'm around you."

And suddenly, at Emma's last words, Regina's expression shifts very quickly, and she locks her eyes with Emma's. Emma notices her eyes shining so brightly. They seem like a pool filled with hot chocolate and a hint of cinnamon in them. When she blinks again they look like honey and maple syrup.

And Emma's eyes catch a small shift in the angle of Regina's look; all of a sudden her pupils are pointed at the direction of Emma's lips, and that makes Emma look at Regina's as well.

Regina's lip part slowly, "Emma… I… just shut up. You talk too much. It's fine. I'll tell you how I feel. I want to be honest with you, and I'll…" she sounds doubtful, yet keeps going, "you know what? _Damn it!_ Let me show you instead."

When she takes a step forward she does that with a little of hesitation across her body, but she does it anyway, because Emma just kind of draws her from the inside and she cannot resist it anymore.

Regina locks her lips with Emma's. They have the subtle taste of cinnamon that contradicts the bitterness in Regina's taste of coffee in her mouth. The smell of forest is prominent in the air. Emma draws Regina closer to her; she can feel Regina's skin against her own. Their heartbeats are racing, almost as if they are trying to compete against each other and establish which one is more excited, but they simply can't, because both of them are just too much.

Their eyes are shut. For a second they have to stop to get some air into their lungs, but when they breathe one against the other's skin, the both of them feel like they need more, they want more.

After all this time, the desire between them is… irresistible. They both grasp the other's cape and they draw each other closer together for an extension of that same kiss.

Their lips are wet and warm and soft. Emma's tongue is teasing Regina's very slowly, as the latter raises her palms closer to Emma's neck, finally getting a chance to touch her body, not through fabric; but letting her finger pads rest on Emma's skin.

In return, Emma's hands go south. She reaches Regina's red cape, palming her torso and wrapping her arms around her waist. If she could draw her closer, she would have done it. She tilts her head and their noses clash; the air that leaves their body is mixing on their hot skins.

All of a sudden they feel the blowing wind around them as they slowly let go of each other. They open their eyes at the same time, and Regina finds herself surrounded with a green shade of forest, not only because of the real forest, but thanks to the magnificent color of Emma's breathtaking eyes.

Their foreheads are still touching; they are closely looking into the other's bold colors. When they finally grow physically apart, Regina finishes, "I love you too." 

* * *

Emma's eyes open up in what seems to be a surprise, she feels something new, something… she cannot quite explain at first. What she feels is the curse, broken at last.

She is literally free. Of The Darkness, of its form as Rumplestiltskin in her head. Emma Swan is free.

 _True Love's Kiss can break any curse_ ; especially when Emma just wanted Regina to break it together with her so badly.

Emma is looking down at her hands, she smiles again… and looks back up at Regina, "I'm free!" she shouts with the happiest voice, and draws Regina back to the single happiest clash of lips she has ever had.

When they part their lips this time, they both just laugh. And it's not strange anymore for Regina to cup Emma's cheeks with her hands and smile widely; because she knows Emma's love for her is real, and true. She shouldn't have doubted herself, but now she is sure.

" _I love you_." Regina rejoices, and mouths these three words once more, for she almost can't believe she's finally said them to the right person.


End file.
